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Good Holiday Ideas | May 22, 2024

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Smutty local names like, twatt, shag, arse,  top our rude titter list. Read more..

Prepare to giggle at the smutty rural village names that raise a laugh all over Britain. There are nearly 2,000 odd place names but happily not all rude or smutty – though having travelled extensively over Europe yet again we are the best.

Starting at the top in the Orkneys locals proudly announce they are from Twatt. Country-wide  there are scores of  cheeky Bottoms – from Happy Bottom, Dorset, to SlapBottom in Hampshire to the disgusting  Rotten Bottoms who live in this Dumfries hamlet.

Whilst we should give it the bum-steer Bottoms are top of the giggle-list with such names – Great Bottom Flash in Wilshire, Rough Bottom,  Rotten Bottom, Bottom Burn, Lickham Bottom, Devon, and another tongue-twister Butts Bottom, but worse we suspect is in the Peak District where the Devil’s Arse is a road less-travelled. A short drive away over the Pennines, past Penistone  you’ll have a titter at Tickle Cock Bridge.

More pants place names are in Wales – dozen of simply plain Pants (means hollow or bottom) plus Pants-Y-Felin and Pantyfallen, Pantycoch, where locals no doubt winge about  England having lots of Thongs.

Or how about these funnies – Roger Moor, Lancashire, The Bitches, Pembrokeshire, Lickham Bottom, Somerset,  Shitterton, Dorset, Hardon Road,

Wolverhampton, Brown Willy,  and Sandy Balls, Hampshire, Butthole, Leicester, Sodom, Wales, and Sluts Hole Lane in Norfolk.

Even the capital, London does not escape the mucky mirth – with areas such as Cockfosters  Royal Arsenal, Shepherd’s Bush, Milkmaids Passage, Back Passage, Cock Street,  Cold Blow Lane, Ming Street and Spankers  Hill Wood.  All these wonderful names are catalogued in Marvellous Map  of  Great British Place names – some with apt descriptions and a wonderfully identified map locations. Publishers are Strumpshaw, Tincleton & Giggleswick,  whose classy vintage-style wall maps celebrate the world’s funny place names.

French Pussy

  • COMING SOON – EU’s a laff – with France topping the list for most photographed township – called Pussy in the Tarentaise mountain region. Only lately has the local council taken down signs saying About to enter Pussy and Au Revoir Pussy!
  • Runners-up are the endless town signs all over Germany wishing departing drivers Gut Fart. Same to you – ed.